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- You don't sweat much for a fat girl, observations on life from the shallow end of the pool, Celia Rivenbark
- Rude bitches make me tired, slightly profane and entirely logical answers to modern etiquette dilemmas, Celia Rivenbark
- Belle weather, [mostly sunny with a chance of scattered hissy fits], Celia Rivenbark
- Stop dressing your six-year-old like a skank, and other words of delicate Southern wisdom, Celia Rivenbark
- You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning, Celia Rivenbark
- Belle weather, mostly sunny with a chance of scattered hissy fits, Celia Rivenbark